Wandering the past 2 weeks in a delirious state

Well, the Queen has ventured to a planet, so far beyond her planethotflash and she has witnessed behavior that has changed her soul.
We visited MIL.

MIL called and ask that hubby and I come to her home ASAP
I looked at hubby and asked do I hafta, yeah I actually said hafta.
He looked back at me lovingly and said, " No *sigh* you really don't *sigh* have to go but I *sigh* should, she sounded like she was having some problems *sigh*."

After searching my life for a plausible excuse, I could not find one, so I responded," No, *sigh* I wouldn't do that to you my love *sigh*"

So off we went to Misery

Upon arrival there she stood, at the entryway of her apartment complex, in a Jean skirt, red flip flops and a halter with big orange flowers, My MIL, waving to park in the back because the old people need the front spaces. So we parked a block away and hubby hauled the luggage to her apartment.
On our way up, we were introduced to anyone that would stand still long enough to say hello.

Inside the apartment the temperature had to be at least 80 with no air or fans on. And low and be hold, there sat ex brother-in-law in gym shorts, no shirt and watching the Goonies. I looked at hubby and he ignored my looks.
Since there was only one bedroom in MIL apartment, which hubby assumed we would have, because MIL as in the past would sleep on the sofa because she always insisted we stay with her, anyway she explained since ex B-I-L would be "sleepin thar" we would have to make a pallet on the floor of the living room. So hubby told her we would stay in a hotel and she started bawling a storm and said that her son wouldn't even spend time at home with her.

Um, Yeah, drama queen.

Of course, hubby felt guilty for making her cry, said we would stay one night with her and the next night at a hotel. The well dried up then. He whispered to me that I could have the couch and he would do the floor, I looked sideways at him and said you bet your sweet ass, then smiled.
Then MIL asked what we would like her to order for dinner. She doesn't cook, never, ever, my hubby said she never cooked anything when he was young either,after great debate pizza was decided on. While waiting for dinner to arrive, we had the astute privilege of listening to ex b-i-l explain to hubby about his relationship with MIL. He began his lecture series with, how hubby shouldn't have," no hard fellins" and that he (ex b-i-l) was going to " take right good kair of her." I had to go use the restroom because I was sure that the "you don't have to call me Daddy" speech was next. As I came out of the bathroom, I couldn't believe what was actually being said by that fool ( ex B-I-L) , no it wasn't about marriage and no it wasn't about being hubby's daddy. It was this,

Your Mama and I wanna buy us a house and we was wonderin if you all could loan us the down payment.

Hubby's face turned fourteen, yes there are fourteen, shades of red. His mother said," now honey, we know you got it and we ain't, so we figured you'd wanna help us get up on our feet."

To be continued